


Capability and Parenting 101

by RiddlePanda



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Parent AU, tweek and craig are dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 11:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13145802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiddlePanda/pseuds/RiddlePanda
Summary: Years after the worse day of his life, Tweek's mother callsCreek Secret Santa gift for @aestheticallyjaded on tumblr who requested a Parent AU





	Capability and Parenting 101

**Author's Note:**

> Creek Secret Santa gift for @aestheticallyjaded on tumblr

“You are capable of more than you think. You are capable of more than you think. You are capable of more than you think. You are ca-”

“Dad, do we-”

“GAH!”

In the blink of an eye, Andromeda Tucker pushed her dad out of the way and grabbed the knife he had thrown in the air before it hit him. She handed the knife back, grabbing her dad’s shaky hand as he accepted it.

“Sorry dad. Thought you saw me. You’re more nervous than normal. Everything okay?”

Tweek looked into the concerned green eyes of his teenage daughter and nodded. “It’s…well… I got a phone call. From…your grandmother.”

“Grandma Laura or Nancy?”

“ _ **MY**_ mom.”

“Oh. Why?”

Tweek took a deep breath as he set the knife down on the counter. “They want…to come and visit.”

Andromeda narrowed her eyes. “Dad. Please don’t tell me-”

“I didn’t Andy. I didn’t panic. I know my voice was a bit shaky but I didn’t panic. I told her the rules of our house and what **_NOT_** to bring. We’ll do checks with whatever they bring and I’ll lock up our teas during the visit.”

“So both of them?”

Tweek nodded. “My mom’s not **AS** bad, but yeah…watch your Grandpa Richard like a hawk, especially around Twyla. It’s bad enough she inherited my overactive imagination.”

Andromeda scoffed and patted Tweek on the shoulder. “She doesn’t have an overactive imagination dad. I saw them too when I was her age, as well as you, and as well as daddy. They’re real. And speaking of, I was wondering if we have any plastic wrap? Twy and I have got the perfect plan to finally get rid of the Underpants Gnomes, but we need plastic wrap.”

The stairs thudded loudly, signaling either a herd of elephants or the very energetic ten year old Twyla Tucker was coming down.

A mass of golden blonde curls appeared in the entryway to the kitchen, giggling, before the girl entered fully. “So, do we have any? We have to or the plan won’t work and I’ll have to start on plan seventy. And plan seventy is gonna involve fireworks and we can’t even **GET** fireworks for another three months so this plan has to work!”

Tweek reached in the cabinet and grabbed the plastic wrap, handing it to his youngest daughter. “Twyla, before you run off, I need to tell you something important.”

Twyla smiled as she rocked back and forth. “Is it a good important or a bad important?”

“Um…both? Um, your grandparents are coming for a visit.”

Twyla’s blue eyes sparkled as her smile grew wider.

“Not…daddy’s or Aunt Heidi’s parents. Mine.”

“Oh. Why?”

Tweek sat down at the kitchen table and put his head in his hands. “My mom told me she wanted to visit to make amends, to maybe actually get to know you two instead of just pictures and letters.”

“And your dad?”

Tweek looked up at Andromeda’s conflicted face. “She didn’t mention him, but I assumed he’d tag along. She knows better than to mention him to me.”

The door opening signaled that Craig was home and the two girls looked at their dad before giving him a hug.

“We’ll leave you alone with daddy for a bit. We need to finish Twyla’s plan anyway. Good luck.”

“Thanks Andy.”

————————–

Craig saw the streak of yellow of his youngest rushing out of the kitchen, causing him to step back before he was ran over, as the girl dashed up the stairs. Andromeda came out of the kitchen a moment later, her green eyes more vibrant and her red hair shining more than usual, letting the man know that something was wrong.

“Andromeda?”

The girl lightly headbutted his chest. “Dad’s in a mood. It’s about his parents. They want to visit.”

Craig nodded as he hugged the girl up before she pulled away and headed up the stairs. “I’ll order pizza tonight. I think we need it.”

Taking a deep breath, Craig headed into the kitchen, finding Tweek tracing the designs in their tablecloth.

“So they want to visit? After all this time?”

Tweek nodded as he patted the table, signaling Craig to sit down.

“I told my mom they could visit. I made sure to clearly state there would be no coffee and we’d be checking to make sure they didn’t bring any. Mom agreed to everything. I think I got the point across pretty well. My voice was shaking but I didn’t panic.”

Craig smiled softly as he squeezed Tweek’s shoulder. “You’re braver than I am. After what your dad did, I wanted to kill him. If I had answered, I probably would have hung up the phone.”

“I nearly did, especially when she asked if she could visit. But I just… it’s been ten years and they’re her only grandkids and I just… I want her to know them. I want them to know her. Mom wasn’t so bad on her own. It was just…”

Craig nodded. “I know Tweek. I know. If Andromeda hadn’t been **SO** attentive to Twyla, it might have been months before we knew your dad have put that new white coffee blend he made in all of Twyla’s formula. I thought he had taken the hint when Andy had kicked him when he offered her coffee just the day before.”

Tweek rubbed at his temples, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. “I don’t regret what I did Craig, but that was the hardest day of my life, telling them they could call or write but I never wanted to see them again. But… **_MY_** family comes first, my _daughters_ come first, more than anything. No offence Craig.”

Craig smiled softly. “None taken. I feel the same way Tweek. Do whatever to me but leave my daughters alone. Do you think you’re capable of doing this Tweek? Letting them back in?”

_‘You are capable of more than you think. You are capable of more than you think. You are capable of more than you think. You are ca-’_

“Yes.”

——————————–

Craig got the next weekend off so he’d be able to spend the entire weekend making sure that’s Tweek’s parents didn’t try anything to cause Tweek to panic or put their daughters in danger.

Tweek had spent the entire week after he got off work making sure there would be no place for his parents to hide coffee, even in the guest room. As much as he didn’t trust his parents, the fear of him not trusting himself to give in to the cravings was worse.

Since he had kicked his parents out of his life shortly after Twyla was born, Tweek hadn’t touched coffee since, quitting cold turkey that day and smashing the expensive coffee maker Craig had got him for Christmas only a month before with Craig’s blessing and favorite baseball bat.

———————–

The next Friday, Tweek was surprised when a blue car pulled up in front of the house instead of his father’s brown one and his mom stepped out of the backseat with two small suitcases, his father nowhere in sight. The car drove off as he reached his mom on the sidewalk.

There was definitely more gray in his mom’s hair than the last time he had seen her, even in the rare glances he had seen of her when they came home to South Park for holidays. She looked tired, her face reflecting the exhausted look he had for months as he detoxed himself from coffee. She smiled warmly at him, relief in her face, and as he hugged her, Tweek noticed the overpowering smell of vanilla and cinnamon than the normal coffee smell he remembered her having.

“Where’s dad?”

“He couldn’t come. You’ve grown a couple of inches.”

“Yeah…late bloomer apparently. Andromeda’s gonna catch up in the next year though. She got the infamous Tucker height genes. The boys at school are scared of her which is good because I am **NOT** ready for her to date yet. I remember how Craig and I were at fifteen. Boys that age are assholes.”

His mom chuckled before pulling him into another hug. “I really missed you son. I just…I missed this.”

“Let’s get inside so you can unpack.”

“I didn’t bring any coffee, I cut it out of my diet months ago, but you’re welcome to check my bags.”

Tweek smiled softly. “I believe you mom. That rule was mostly for dad. No wonder you look a bit like I did when I quit cold turkey. The caffeine withdrawal was the worst. How did you do it without dad throwing a fit?”

His mother’s soft hands gently grabbed his own and she squeezed it. “I’m… not with your father anymore Tweek. We’ve been separated for about a year, in the process of getting a divorce.”

Tweek’s eyes widened. “What!?”

His mother smiled sadly. “It was actually because of you. I’ve always regretted what happened when Twyla was a baby but I began to understand just how much we hurt you when you were a kid when I would see pictures of Andromeda and Twyla as they aged. When Andromeda turned ten was when I wanted to see if we could start over, but all your father could see was her being old enough to help out at the coffee shop since you did it when you were ten.”

“And force feed her coffee.”

“Yes. That too. After that moment was when I began to realize what we had done and I just couldn’t bring myself to see his side of things anymore. We constantly fought, until my breaking point when your father was going to fake an injury to get you to come back to South Park to work at the shop.”

“Why the hell would he think I would give up my good paying job as a counselor to go make shitty coffee?”

His mother frowned. “That’s what I kept telling Richard. That you wouldn’t drop everything and move yourself, Craig, and the girls back to South Park. Especially when Craig had just got that new job position for discovering that new star system. I couldn’t be a part of trying to ruin what you’ve built for yourself, so I left him. I’ve been staying with my sister in North Park.”

“Mom…”

“Don’t worry about me sweetie. I’m doing okay. I’m working in a bakery making cakes. It’s good work.”

————————————

Tweek and his mother were at the dining room table looking through photo albums when Twyla burst through the door, about to run up the stairs.

“Twyla! Over here missy! You need to meet your Grandma Helen.”

The girl stopped and turned to look at the adults, foot twitching on the first step. “But I have **_PLANS_** I have to work out! Attempt sixty-nine didn’t work so I have to work on seventy.”

Tweek raised his eyebrow. “Well in that case, you really need to get over here young lady and hand them over.”

Blue eyes blinked at him. “Hand over what daddy?”

Tweek smirked. “You call Craig daddy, not me. That just cements you’re hiding something. I remember what you said the other day. Hand them over.”

Twyla grumbled as she walked over to the dining room table, opening her backpack and put the packages in Tweek’s outstretched hand.

“Who gave you fireworks?”

“I have my sources.”

“This “source” young lady, needs to be named or someone’s gonna be grounded for a week.”

Twyla sighed as she stared hard at Tweek. “Uncle Eric.”

“How the fu- -dge did your Uncle Eric… Nevermind. Just sit and meet your Grandma Helen.”

“What’s this plan you’re talking about Twyla?”

Twyla looked over to her grandmother and raised her hands up. “Well! Grandma Helen, I can call you that, right? Okay! So like there’s these gnome things that look like little old men that are called Underpants Gnomes that come and steal my panties allllll the time and I want them to stop because they stole my favorite pair that were pink and had frogs on them and I want them back and I want them to stop and both dad and daddy and even Andy said that they’ll go away eventually but this is like the most pressing matter of my life right now! So I’m coming up with plans that will get them to stop but they keep breaking and avoiding my traps and dad just ruined plan seventy!”

Helen blinked a few times before focusing on Twyla’s angered face. “Well…that’s certainly a story. Have you just…wrote them a letter? Telling them that it’s very very inappropriate for old men even if they are gnomes to steal little girls panties and that you’d like yours back because if someone found them out, they could be in a lot of trouble.”

Twyla’s eyes widened and she grinned. “That’s the greatest plan ever! Thank you Grandma Helen! I love you!”

The girl bounced over, giving the woman the most gripping hug she could before rushing up the stairs.

“Twyla!”

“It’s okay Tweek. She’s got pressing matters to attend to and we’ve got the whole weekend.

—————–

“Boys are assholes! Oh…hello Grandma Helen. Dad, boys are assholes!”

Tweek chuckled as Andromeda flopped in the chair next to him. “Is that why you’re an hour late coming home?”

“Detention. Beat Willis Parker up for being an asshole.”

“What happened to make him an asshole Andy?”

The redhead grumbled. “We were in band practice and I was tuning my guitar and he tried explaining to me how a guitar works to impress his dumbass asshole friends and rips the guitar out of my hands and slices my finger and before I could get it back, he adjusted one of the tuners so much that the string breaks and drops my guitar because it hits him. Luckily I grabbed it before it hit the floor, but I was so pissed off that I just beat the shit out of him.”

“No injuries other than your finger?”

Andromeda shook her head. “Nah, I know how to fight, unlike Willis. And don’t worry, I got my finger bandaged. It might be a few days before it heals, but it’s luckily in a spot that won’t hurt when I play. Good thing I have extra strings. I’m…in trouble, aren’t I?”

Tweek shook his head. “You would be if you got hurt. Because then I failed at teaching you self-defense. Besides, your daddy got detention all the time for random shit. We can’t really fault you for being you.”

“Thanks dad. If there’s anything I can do, name it.”

Tweek slid over the packages of fireworks. “Find out how your Uncle Eric got these and how he got them to Twyla.”

“Got it. Um, sorry for the language Grandma Helen. Where’s-”

“It’s just me Andromeda. And don’t worry about cussing. Like your dad says, just be you.”

Andromeda smiled. “Wow, you’re like so much more chill than Grandma Laura and Grandma Nancy. Grandma Laura just flips me off and Grandma Nancy tells me not to be so crude. It’s like two conflicting signals there. I’m gonna go do homework until daddy comes home.”

—————————

“I’m proud of both of you. Both of you are great fathers. You’ve come a long way from awkwardly holding hands.”

Craig shook his head. “It’s Tweek that’s the more father of us two. He’s got more flexible work hours so he can be here with them more.”

Helen laughed as she sipped her tea. “Don’t cut yourself short Craig. I know it was you that convinced him that a child that was biologically his wouldn’t be messed up when you decided to have Twyla. I…always wondered what kind of child Tweek would have been if we hadn’t-”

“Helen, I know what happened in the past was messed up, but please don’t beat yourself up about it. What we grew up with gave us the drive to be the best parents we could be and to learn from our parents’s mistakes. It’s in the past now. Let’s deal with the future.”

Tweek came down the stairs slowly. “Well, Twyla’s note and cookies are in place and she promised to go to bed until three so she can see if the Gnomes will actually respect her note. Andromeda will probably stay up all night reading those guitar books you got her mom. She’s bound to play a full song for you before you leave. And Twyla’s gonna spend most the weekend making you something to take home to hang in your room.”

Craig chuckled. “Yeah, be prepared for your entire room to be decorated. Twyla likes making things. We may have to let her decorate the guest room for when you come to visit again.”

“You…want me to come visit again?”

Craig nodded. “You’re their grandma and they seem to like you a lot. And you and Tweek have a lot of catching up to do. Us as well. I always did like you as a mother-in-law…when certain other people weren’t around.”

Tweek smiled as he sat beside his mom on the couch. “And it would be nice to have some motherly influence in the house. If you haven’t noticed, our daughters are a bit…rough.”

Helen smiled. “I’d be honored.”

Tweek laid his head down on his mom’s shoulder. “Good. Because we’re still way in the dark about that monthly thing girls do. All we know is Andy gets pissy and wants chocolate and to murder things. And Twyla’s probably about to go through the same thing. That’s why she’s so adamant about getting rid of the Gnomes before that happens.”

Helen chuckled as she began running her fingers through her son’s hair. “You’re doing good baby. You’re doing good.”

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Heidi was the surrogate mother of both Andromeda and Twyla. Andromeda is biologically Craig’s, but she inherited the more characteristic Tucker traits; red hair, green eyes, and tall. Twyla is biologically Tweek’s. He was nervous about using his DNA because he didn’t want a child to be messed up like he was, but Craig convinced him that wouldn’t be the case. 
> 
> They both agreed they wanted Heidi to be a part of the girls lives. So she’s Aunt Heidi and her parents are another set of grandparents.


End file.
